Hey Tiny Dog Dude, It's Not Me It's You

August 7, 2019

Let me preface this by saying: I have no problem with small dogs. I actually love lots of those tiny lil' rabbits. The problem I often have is with their owners - and if that's you, sorry, but before you attack me, let me explain why.


The back story: The other day, I was at the dog park with a girlfriend. Between the 2 of us, there are 4 dogs - 2 German Shepherds and 2 big mutts, they all weigh closer to the 100lb side of the scale. She had gotten there first and done a lap of the park already, upon which her dogs went to say hello to a teenie-weenie dog, who's owner had chuckled and said 'oh don't worry, if she wants them to bugger off she will tell them' (or something to that effect). Fast forward, I show up, dogs all start walking while I am showing my girlfriend a photo on my phone. Next thing you know we are being screamed at because one of the sheps had pinned the small dog previously mentioned. 


Let's pause; a big dog pinning a big dog looks fairly normal, a big dog pinning a small dog looks like they are trying to swallow it whole..




SCREAMING, cussing... all of it ensues in our direction as we are labelled the bad dog owners of the park. "Get off your fucking phone and pay attention to your fucking dog it almost killed mine..


Alright, steady there now, bud. Neither of us deny our dogs are certainly capable of causing some damage, but when you have your phone out to film us as we explain we will cover whatever vet bills occur, kick rocks dude.


Throwing your peanut sized dog into the regular dog park is asking for trouble. It's like putting your toddler in the middle of an NFL game and then getting mad at the players for running over your kid. 


Yes, technically, your 5 lb teacup whatever that's yipping at my German Shepherd is a dog, but it's a teeny-tiny dog yelling at my very big dog who either thinks it wants to play or is being rude - either way, to you the results will likely look the same to you.


Let's review how dogs play, shall we? 


Now, as a small dog owner, I know you're already looking at that photo somewhat horrified - but in fact, they're just playing. Stick your sweet little one in front of those teeth! No? 


And that's not to mention just the sheer size difference. Even if all the dogs play nicely together, and I know lots that do, do you want 2+ behemoths running over your sweet little baby?


Just as there is a purpose between separating elementary and high school students, there is a reason there are small dog specific areas in a dog park.


You are more than welcome to come into this wrestling ring, but please be prepared for the consequences.


Small dogs are not exempt from dog rules just because you can scoop them up. Excessive barking is still rude, pushing personal space boundaries with another dog is still rude, and when you haven't corrected the behaviour so a bigger bub does, please don't be surprised.




Thank you for attending my TED talk.




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